When I started doing intuitive readings over twenty years ago, I was amazed how many nice, lovely, kind people found themselves in unhappy relationships, or were mistreated at work.
My clients tended to be extremely nice people, but often wound up receiving the short end of the stick. They are people who do so much for everyone else and then felt stressed out at the end of the day.
My clients, like me, were most often empaths.
Empaths tend to be over-givers, and this tendency filters into every relationship you have.
Learning the law of reciprocity
It seems reasonable that if you are kind and generous with others, people will treat you the same love and care. After all, isn’t it good karma to be always be nice to people? Good karma should come back to you, right?
The answer is yes, good karma will come back to you. However, Karma sometimes teaches you to be kinder to yourself.
One of the many things that Karma teaches you is about balance – learning to give and receive in equal measure.
Most importantly, we are meant to learn to treat ourselves with as much respect and care as we do others.
Typically, empaths tend to give more of themselves to others and also give people “the benefit of the doubt”.
Oftentimes, we think we are doing the “right” thing by automatically forgiving someone who has wronged us. Or, let people take more of our time or energy, when we need to devote that to ourselves.
We may do this to avoid drama, but end up absorbing someone else’s negative energy and disrespecting ourselves in the process.
Honor your emotions. If you feel someone has wronged or disrespected you in some way, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and express them.
If you disregard your feelings because you want to avoid drama, you are setting yourself up for future disharmony.
Relationships are an energy exchange
A healthy relationship has a reciprocal energy of giving and receiving. When you have this reciprocal exchange, the karmic scales are more in balance.
Yet, when you are being “nice” instead of standing up for yourself, or asserting your right to be treated better, or walking away from people who mistreat you, you tip those karmic scales.
When you continue to allow people to take advantage of your good nature, or excuse them for not treating you better, you will continue to attract unhealthy relationships until that balance is righted.
You might want to look at any uncomfortable situation in your life that you seem to attract over and over again. See if there is a lesson there about a reciprocal energy exchange.
You can evaluate whether you are giving too much or too little in that circumstance relative to the outcome, and make appropriate adjustments.
Being as good to yourself as you are to others
If you are one of these people who tries to be “good” all the time and do the right thing, you might want to examine how that plays out in your relationships and career.
Perhaps you have been avoiding an uncomfortable conversation. If you feel you deserve more (love, respect, money, time, etc.), it might be time to be talk about your needs.
Bringing balance into your life
You might also want to look at the balance within yourself – do you have a balance of work and play? Do you take enough time to yourself ? Do you treat yourself as well as you treat other people?
Instead of thinking about whether or not you are being nice to people, ask if you are being honest with yourself and treating yourself with love and care.
Being truthful and direct with your feelings (especially with yourself) is the best way to bring harmony and balance into your life. Now that’s nice!
© Kari Samuels 2019. All Rights Reserved.