Putin Receives Nobel Prize In Medicine For Ending COVID Pandemic

SWITZERLAND—After serious deliberations deep inside the super-secret Nobel Prize Compound in Switzerland or wherever, the Nobel committee of medicine deciders have awarded the coveted Nobel Prize in Medicine to Russia’s President Vladimir Putin for singlehandedly ending the COVID pandemic practically overnight.

News of the swift and nearly-miraculous end to a years-long pandemic came at a serendipitous moment for members of a certain American political party.

“While Putin should receive credit for ending this pandemic, President Biden also deserves praise for ending the pandemic and fulfilling yet another campaign promise like all of the other campaign promises he totally keeps fulfilling,” said Jen Psaki to a journalist and future coworker at MSNBC, “Yes, Putin’s magical ability to end this pandemic bodes well for any democrat running for reelection this November, but that’s just a happy, happy coincidence.”

Thanks to the Russian President’s decisive blow against the COVID pandemic, Democrat-run states across the U.S. immediately began lifting draconian, life-crushing, and statistically racist mask and vaccine mandates in workplaces, restaurants, and even schools. This great news about the scientifically plausible and immediate end to the pandemic is sure to be one of President Biden’s main talking points during his first State of the Union speech.

President Putin showed up in person to receive the Nobel Prize, and then asked to stay in the “super-secret Nobel Prize Compound” as he was hiding from mobs of angry Russian citizens for no apparent reason.


6 Replies to “Putin Receives Nobel Prize In Medicine For Ending COVID Pandemic”

    1. Åkes

      It is satire! The virus was scared off by Putin’s clean- up in Ukraina by the Spetsnaz.
      Nobel is a Swedish sur-name.

  1. Harriet

    After further research, I think it is the Ig-Noble award in Medicine that Putin won. He didn’t have a very good track record with covid.

    1. A lightworker

      He indeed doesn’t have the best track record, but keep in mind that the Russian-developed jab was at least less lethal and possibly not lethal at all. That’s why the west banned it.

      So Putin still doesn’t have a great covid track record, but that at least contextualizes it.