You do not always understand why your actions and words are now so different. You, a known caretaker, seem colder and more distant. Where is your heart?
Just as your new being is shifting, so are your heart’s actions, or in this case, caretaking actions.
You once assumed caretaking was an indication of how loving you were. But in truth, caretaking, loving others despite physical or emotional harm to yourself, was not love; it was what you thought love should be.
True love is not loving someone to the detriment of yourself – as displayed by abused spouses or parents. Such love is not from within; it is fear-based.
You once believed you would not be loved unless you dedicated yourself to the well-being of others.
Love has now shifted into a knowingness that you must care for yourself as well as others – often displayed with a more standoffish approach. A bit like expecting your child to pick up their toys no matter how long it takes.
You no longer feel the need to protect or save someone from themselves. Nor do you feel the need to listen to their latest fear or ailment once you know intuitively that neither is appropriate for the situation.
Your self-love awakening has created many unexpected shifts within your being – not the least of which is your need to care for yourself before others.
That last statement likely sounds cold to those of you who have not yet experienced this situation with your family, friends, or co-workers.
The first time you state that others can take care of themselves or complete a project without your assistance, you will feel mean and wrong. In 3D, you would have assumed both labels within your being and from the people with whom you interacted. In 3D, “no” was labeled as mean, tough love, selfish, cruel, and thousands of other words indicating you were wrong and society was correct.
Such labels no longer apply. Not because society has shifted that dramatically but because you have. What you once acted upon based on expectations of yourself and, more importantly, society, you are now saying “no” – not in a loud voice, but with a quiet self-love voice that others do not always understand. For where is their caretaker, their cleaner-upper, their emotional servant?
You have not become so cold you refuse to help others. But instead, your aid is now based on your inner feelings instead of social shoulds. So some family and friends will be horrified by your words and actions, for they seem so anti-social, so not what society indicates you should do.
This is an expected shift.
In 3D, you were never trained to experience or express self-love. Instead, your emphasis was caretaking others despite what you needed or wanted. Sacrifice was rewarded. Self-love was labeled anti-social. Those people who practiced self-love before this transition were labeled mean, ungrateful, selfish, and outside society.
The difference between self-love and self-aggrandizement is your inner voice. Your inner being helps you understand the difference between heartless actions – which will result in great inner pain – and heartful actions that will help you sparkle. You are currently learning to discern between the two.
A discernment that is confusing. Even though your inner voice is easily accessible, so are the social rules you are familiar with. And if you follow your inner voice, there will be times when society indicates you are wrong or a bad person.
Will you be strong enough to negate the former rules of your 3D life? Of course. That is, when you are ready to do so, for this is your progressive lesson plan in this new world.
You started with the basics and are graduating to self-love for yourself and others. For there will be times when you must allow others the freedom to be themselves, just as you allow the same for yourself.
But in doing so, some of you will feel you are no longer needed or important. That is until you realize that self-love does not require stepping back, stopping, or hindering your inner development because someone wants you to care for them.
This is a new world in which self-love and love are becoming the key elements in your life and the life of others. Allow yourself to flow into it without self-fear, self-anger, or self-debasement. Your time has come – as is true for all those of the earth who wish to evolve into a new loving being.
At the same time, those who wish to remain in 3D fear are not your concern. They are evolving as they want – as are you. So be it. Amen.
Copyright 2009-2023, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc., but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author/channel: Brenda Hoffman & source website link: http://www.LifeTapestryCreations.com
Awesome article. Kind of reminds me of the Ayn Rand books, “Atlas Shrugged,” and “The Fountainhead.” We have to stop being the doormats of others who relish wiping their feet on us and then criticize us for throwing away the doormat. Advice from an old lady – Everyone Buy A New Doormat And Keep It Clean and Emotionally Free Of Others’ Problems. Look out for yourself, be kind, be loving, be sympathetic – to yourself.