By Julie Peters | Source
Abstinence has long been recommended as the ultimate treatment for addiction. But what if the research supports a different approach to recovery?
In the classical protocols for addiction, abstinence is king. Twelve-step programs and other strategies help people quit a certain substance or behavior and stay off it forever. While this strategy absolutely works for some people, it doesn’t work for everyone. According to the American Addiction Centers, only about five to 12 percent of people who go through a 12-step program actually succeed in recovering from their addiction. So what if there’s another way to work with addiction? What if abstinence isn’t the only option?
The Link Between Addiction and Trauma
As addiction and trauma research has increased and improved in recent decades, it’s become clear that addiction and trauma are almost always linked. Addiction isn’t the problem, essentially; it’s a coping mechanism. Regardless of one’s behavior or the substance they are using, the addiction is a misplaced way for the person to calm themselves, quiet extreme emotions, and, in many cases, function despite deep emotional pain. For some people, their addiction is truly standing between them and death.
In many traditional forms of therapy, a therapist will not see a client if they are actively using. To paraphrase Adi Jaffe, who wrote the book The Abstinence Myth, that’s a bit like telling someone with a broken leg they can get help down the hall, but they have to walk all the way there without their crutches. Obviously, some substances will interfere with cognition, making it harder for someone to benefit from therapy. But therapy doesn’t necessarily always have to be about cognition—it can also be about connection, care, listening, and a safe place to start working out what’s going on with the pain that sits beneath the addiction.
Concerns with Non-Substance Addictions
There are also a few logical quandaries that arise when practicing the belief that abstinence is the only option for addiction recovery. If one is addicted to food, sex, or work, quitting those things completely isn’t really an option. Recovery is going to have to include working on the relationship with those things in order to heal. It’s also easy enough for people experiencing addiction to switch from one addiction to another; to give up a certain substance but then find another way to dull their emotional pain.
There are also many addictions that are seen as socially acceptable. Caffeine is an addictive substance, and addiction to work can lead to the breakdown of one’s health and relationships. In a society that is hyperfocused on productivity, there is very little stigma surrounding addictions to things that make us more productive, even when those things greatly impact our well-being.
Is It an Addiction?
Further complicating the issue, in recent years, plant medicines like cannabis and psilocybin have been increasingly studied and legalized. If someone is regularly using a substance that was formerly illegal but is now legal for medicinal use, does that qualify as an addiction?
One simple way to know whether you are addicted to something or not is this: Pleasure (or the experience of taking good medicine) brings us more deeply into our bodies and into our feelings, helping us feel more like our authentic selves. It can increase our empathy as well as our ability to communicate, express feelings, and care for ourselves. Addiction is simply the relief of no longer having to feel your feelings.
From this perspective, it’s really not about the substance but rather about an addictive energy. Drinking wine for the sensual experience, to enhance the taste of food, or as an act to share with another person is an expression of pleasure and connection to your body. Drinking wine to disconnect and dull your feelings, especially to the point of consistently harming your body with hangovers and impairment, is more like an addiction.
Addiction Versus Connection
One of the strongest elements of 12-step programs is the group aspect. People are encouraged to come together to talk about their feelings, problems, and relationships with the substance or addiction they are struggling with. As many recovery programs and specialists remind us, the opposite of addiction is connection, not abstinence.
We know that addictions tend to seem hereditary. But if we think of addiction from a wider perspective, we can also see that what might be passed down are survival and coping mechanisms, not necessarily an addiction itself. In his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, Gabor Maté, M.D., explains what he learned from his decades as a doctor in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, known for its disproportionately high rates of drug use. Maté could see addictive behaviors being passed down through families, especially where there was no infrastructure to support people through safe housing, healthy food, and recovery programs.
A New Way to Heal Addiction
So what if addiction could be healed by healing the trauma that sits behind it? What if addictive energy is a powerful survival mechanism, not something to be fought but to be understood and supported so that it can rest?
There are many strategies to help people with trauma and addiction. Medication and even some plant medicines (utilized legally with a skilled and qualified practitioner) could help someone heal their addictive energy. Private therapy, especially when it addresses trauma and the body, can be transformative. Groups, whether in a 12-step program or elsewhere, can help establish connection, which supports the fight against addiction. Specific therapeutic techniques like EMDR and neurofeedback can also help some people.
Of course, many of these resources require money. Specialized therapies that might be helpful in particular cases might not be available in someone’s area. Even when free and accessible mental health programs are available in places like hospitals, they may be more re-traumatizing than helpful due to a lack of resources for both patients and the potentially underpaid and overworked staff.
But perhaps the approach to understanding ourselves and our addictions better is simple. Connecting with friends and speaking the truth can be powerful. Twelve-step programs have a lot of benefits and are free and found in all major cities. Mindfulness meditation can help teach us to get curious about our addiction and how it works and what it might be protecting us from.
However we choose to approach addiction, maybe we don’t have to think of abstinence as the only choice and the only way. Maybe this could be the start of a kinder, gentler recovery process. This strategy could certainly lead to abstinence, and that may indeed be the best thing for you. But if we didn’t have to start there, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to get there.

Thanks Matteo and Emma for commenting ♥️♥️
I’ve been pondering the long list I made….and have
begun to realize, that at some point, one by one,
they’ve lost their hold on me!?!
Occasionally, I’d still overeat, and remember why I learned not to…
occasionally, I’d want vino at home, to so called relax- and remember my rule, to only drink socially, from now on…
Etc, etc.
YES, they’ve all been coping mechanisms that created a new problem, instead of to just helping me avoid or cope with an existing problem,
either in the recent or distant past, but
THE GUILT OF IT IS STILL FRESH 😳😳😳😲😲😲
POP!🫧🫧🫧🤯🤯🤯
I haven’t been obese in 30 years!?! I haven’t charged
beyond my means in, what….12 years?!? 15???
ETC, ETC 🥹🥹🥹
WOW, what an incredible realization 🙏🏻🌞🌈
I’m not sure how that happened to me, but this lesser mindset may have taken hold when success in key areas evaded my sincerest efforts 🤔🤔🤔
I’m really not sure.
Even exercise, clothes, and reading spiritual/self help books…AT FIRST
were to “crack the code” and snag me a man! How to stand out around so many other girls, who seemed to always have the world wrapped around their little finger, hmmmmmmmmm……
… Improve Yourself, DUH, your real self isn’t good enough,
So dress it up a bit, yeahhhhhhhhh, problem solved 😆
Ha, although none of it worked, I have improved myself, and health, to a great degree, but apparently not my self image, deeeeeeep down😁😁😁
I consider myself cured, as of right now! That’s EOL,
reuniting people, with themselves, one at a time 😂😂♥️
😊💎 NEXT!
PS, Emma, I used to take streets I hadn’t been on, to delay getting home, depressing there.
At some point, I just began to enjoy seeing other people’s gardens and homes, etc…. I wonder when.?…not sure, I was content to go home😁😁😁♥️♥️♥️💎💎💎
Sorry for all the TMI, gang!😋😋😋
🧳🧳🧳 🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳Looks like I don’t need to drag around all this baggage, anymore.😮💨😮💨😌😌😌
Very impressive 🙂
You go girl!
I know about not good enough. For me, it is like an onion, peel after peel.
I like what Matt Kahn has said (video) about ‘working on self’. That as long as one think one need to work on self, that long the universe will show things to work on, because apparently that is what the one like to do 🙂
Thanks Emma♥️
I like that idea, I’m in no mood to sift through any of the reasons why any further!
I fell asleep, dwelling on the past, after sending that comment; displeasing way to fall asleep, ha😒
The System is designed to make children feel less than good enough ☹️…
I imagine this is the most ideal point to break away from the past, ever, for me, and all of us…
I’m really liking that mantra, I know who I am.
And I REALLY want the good things swirling around in the ethers, to find me! (And anyone else who’s willing 😁)
I’ve seen some glitches, I feel certain god or soul can change it all, in an instant; sooner, if we make it easier…
I think we are both plenty good enough!
Much love,Emma!
♥️😁💎
Much love right back at you <3
The “high” that psychoactive plants cause is not in the plant, but in the Soul. The substance just turn on or off certain cerebral circuits allowing the Soul manifest itself a bit more. All ecstasis is in the Soul, not in the psychoactive substance. Some people become heavily addicted, most not. I think that those heavily addicted have a much unbalanced life, and have not the pleasures of Soul in another areas, thus having the substance as major source of Soul pleasure. Which doesn’t work, due to the tolerance mechanism – the person will end consuming high quantities of substance with little effect, just to avoid the abstinence symptoms. Ancient people were wiser when using these plants, they used them for Spiritual purposes, not just for “recreation”.
I am familiar with a new technique that takes a different approach than traditional 12 step programs called This Naked Mind by Annie
Grace. I helped me quit alcohol! There’s a book and an app
thank you
Ah, I see much truth in this.
Apparently, I need to give up food, wine, coffee, sugar,
You tube, reading, exercising, taking unknown streets,
clothes, shoes (not that I shop like when I was a young hypnotized fool)
Daydreaming, and last but not least, commenting on era!
If I begin slowly enough, I may never have to give up any of it🤞🤞🤞😁
One step after another, gently, we are gonna do it all.
Indeed we already do not need much stuff we do. I know. It is the environment the ‘thing’ to seek ease in some addiction. That’s why it is so important the contact with nature.
In the moment of now we just have to listen well to our body.. we are already doing our best.. it is just a matter of evolution in counsciousness. Then comes the day we quit with something and replace it with something better. And the better is coming!) All at the right time. In Italy we say “quando il frutto è maturo cade dall’albero”
All the best))
Mt
Are all of them causing problems in your life?
Alcohol I believe will push away family, friends, spouse.
Exercise addiction level can cause damage to the body.
Shopping can hurt your wallet, and ability to pay rent etc.
But are you excessive on all of the listed?.
Maybe start with one, the one that cause most other problems.
I do eat food, perhaps a little too much, but do not have an addiction or disorder. I dont drink wine or coffee. Maybe 3 drinks of alcohol per year.
Sugar, like it, but I think I am more salty.
Distracting myself with news and stuff, I should cut down on. Perhaps on daydreaming too.
I dont spent time on EOL everyday, not even every other day.
Taking unknown streets, hehe, I dont understand what that is.
Abraham-Hicks would say that cookies are okay, but eating the entire bag, and everyday is an addiction.
Cookies are not my thing, but they used them as example.