Channel: A.S.

My dearest brothers and sisters,

This is Hakann speaking. I greet you in peace and love.

Today’s message is about the principle: “say it when all of you means it.”

This is a little bit idealistic. You may not be able to always apply this principle. For example, it may be unrealistic to always apply this principle at work. Still, I think this is a useful ideal to keep in mind.

Suppose that Anne is a child and she isn’t allowed to be angry.

Then an inner part is often created, and this inner part is the one that feels anger.

This way, Anne’s main part, which Anne sees as “herself”, no longer feels anger. And so Anne doesn’t ever show anger anymore.

Her parents approve of this, and therefore Anne is safe. After all, a child’s safety, well-being and perhaps even survival literally depends on her relationship with her parents.

So this survival strategy is effective in the moment: Anne’s parents tell her that she isn’t allowed to get angry, so an inner part is created and all the anger goes there. Then Anne’s main part no longer shows anger, and so there is no direct threat anymore.

However, when Anne grows up, she might not be able to stand up for herself properly, because her anger is all put away in a part that she no longer has access to. That can lead to her being taken advantage of, it can lead to her staying with bad partners for far longer than she should, et cetera.

Anne may very well believe that she is simply a person who doesn’t get angry. After all, a person usually identifies with their main part and usually isn’t aware of their other parts. However, anger still exists in Anne, it’s just put away in a part she’s not consciously aware of. And this is psychologically unhealthy, and it can lead to disease and unpleasant manifestations.

And many people have not just one main part and one other part, but they in fact have several other parts.

For example, maybe Anne was also forced to grow up too quickly, and so there’s also an inner part of her that wants to be and act in a child-like way and not have adult responsibilities.

Sometimes if people feel torn between two things, or if people behave quite differently from one day to the next, they’re torn between two parts. Or one day one part is more active and dominant in them, and another day another part is more active and dominant in them.

Note that these inner parts have consciousnesses of their own. You can even talk to them. Not everyone will already have this ability unlocked, but everyone has the potential to do so. For example, if you feel some illogical urge or emotion, you can think or say out loud: “is there some inner part of me that wants this or feels this?” Then listen to the first answer that arises. That answer might be from an inner part of yours. Although as always, use your discernment.

From the perspective of one of these inner parts, it is painful if the main part bulldozes them or refuses to meet their needs.

For example, let’s look at the perspective of Anne’s inner angry part. This part may experience pain or frustration if Anne fails to stand up for herself, or if Anne declares that anger is a bad emotion, or if Anne says that she never gets angry.

Suppose that Anne’s inner angry part is angry at her father. And then imagine that this inner part hears Anne declare that she has forgiven him. Likely this will make Anne’s inner angry part feel more upset and feel more isolated and alone and misunderstood.

Even if Anne’s main part was completely on board and aligned with forgiving her father, it was still ultimately unhealthy that Anne declared that she forgives him. After all, saying that wounds her inner part, and widens the split between her main part and her angry inner part.

This is where we come to the principle: say it when all of you means it.

In this case, Anne shouldn’t say “I forgive my father” until all of her, including her inner angry part, means it. Because if she says it earlier than that, it will just widen the split in her. Her main part will feel good and spiritual, but her inner part will feel even more alone and unseen.

So what Anne should do is observe and self-reflect, and if she’s able to, communicate with her inner parts. When were they created, what do they want, what advice do they have for Anne?

If Anne interacts with her inner parts like this, and listens to them and heeds their advice, she can actually re-integrate them. For example, suppose Anne sufficiently listens to her inner angry part and follows any reasonable suggestions it makes. She starts standing up for herself and starts accepting that it’s sometimes good to get angry. Then eventually her angry inner part might re-integrate into the whole and Anne will no longer have that inner split.

In the short term this may lead to Anne being very angry for a while, at her father and perhaps others. This is part of the healing process. But after a period of time, she will heal and find a new balance.

And maybe after that, she also can also re-integrate the part of her that was forced to grow up too quickly, by listening to it too and meeting its needs and heeding its lessons.

And then eventually she may finally be able to say “I forgive my father”, when all of her means it. And then that will be a very healing and good thing to say to her — because then all of her will mean it.

But she shouldn’t say that she forgives her father before all of her means it. Because doing so would wound her inner parts, and would further create a split between her main part and her inner parts.

Now, many people have inner parts they are not aware of. So, how can you take care of those parts?

Well, here is where our advice comes in that you should observe whatever arises in you. That is how you can, over time, find these inner parts of yourself. General spiritual practice helps too. And as I mentioned, you can just ask if an inner part is involved in a certain urge or emotion you feel. You can use the phrase I suggested earlier, or formulate your own sentence.

Let’s look at another example. Tom was told as a child that he wasn’t allowed to rest, and he also didn’t receive love, until he had successfully accomplished all his tasks. So Tom became a very hard worker, with a resentful inner part that wanted rest and alone time and unconditional love.

Tom has a friend called Jane. She asks him to help her move, in a month’s time. It’s no big deal if Tom says “no”: then she can just ask other friends or arrange help in some other way.

Tom acts out his childhood programming and immediately agrees to help Jane.

But then when the day comes, he feels tired and resentful and underappreciated and he really doesn’t want to help her move. His inner part would much rather stay home and rest. But that inner part is in conflict with the main part of Tom, which is trained to always work hard and to keep working until all tasks are done.

So then Tom might help but silently resent Jane, even though she has done nothing wrong.

Or Tom might say at the last moment that he isn’t coming, which puts Jane in a far worse position than if he had just said “no” a month ago.

So, what should Tom have done? Well, he should have said it only when all of him means it.

In this case, she asks him to help her move. He responds that he has to check his calendar and he’ll give her an answer tomorrow. Then he indeed checks his calendar. He also observes whatever arises in him when he thinks of helping her move. Does it feel fine, or are some negative emotions or stress coming up?

He can think or say out loud: “is there an inner part of me that doesn’t want to do this?” And then he listens to the first thing that arises. And if an inner part of him starts speaking to him, he can talk to it.

In this way, Tom might decide to listen to his inner part and say “no” to Jane.

Or Tom can find a compromise that Tom’s inner part is fine with. For example, he doesn’t help Jane move but he helps her in some other way. Or he helps Jane move, but then blocks out some alone-time elsewhere in his calendar.

Let’s say that Tom’s inner part doesn’t feel good about helping her move, but Tom’s main part doesn’t feel good about refusing to help her move. In other words, two parts of Tom are directly opposed to each other and a compromise can’t be found. What should Tom do in this case?

In this case, Tom can think or say out loud: “I want to find inner alignment between the part of me that wants to help Jane move and the part of me that doesn’t want to do that.” Or alternatively, Tom can visualize two parts of him facing each other and balancing each other out.

This might not work, but if it does, Tom may feel an energy shift and one answer might arise. This answer could be “help Jane move”, “don’t help Jane move” or some compromise. But now all of Tom will be aligned with this, because the two inner parts will have balanced each other out and found agreement between each other.

And then, once he’s found inner alignment, he’ll answer Jane. And now when he gives his answer, all of him means it.

Let’s finish by giving a few more quick examples.

If something awful happened to you, I would only say “I am grateful for that event, because it taught me so much and it made me who I am today” if all of you means that.

I would only say that you accept or love your body if all of you means it. If all of you means it, then this is a great thing to acknowledge, but I wouldn’t say it before then.

I would only say that you love yourself if all of you means it. This is also why I don’t think it’s productive to tell people they should love themselves — if they try to do so while they still have inner parts that don’t love themselves, then that will only widen their internal split.

Similarly, I’m not a fan of telling people that they should raise their vibration, because usually people do so by bulldozing parts of themselves or by suppressing painful or so-called negative thoughts and emotions. And those suppressed emotions are still active in the subconscious and can still cause disease and can still lead to negative manifestations.

As you heal and integrate and observe more and more, your vibration will raise naturally, in a holistic and sustainable and complete way.

I would only say that you don’t judge, if all of you means it — which means that there’s no part of you that judges. Otherwise people will sense that part of you is judging them, while you’re telling them that you don’t judge, and people won’t like that.

Up until now, we have interpreted the phrase “say it when all of you means it” as: “do not say things before you’re at the point when all of you means it.”

There is a second valuable way of interpreting the phrase “say it when all of you means it”. That is: when you’re at the point when all of you means something, it is often good to indeed express your truth, and not remain silent. This can be a societal antidote, it can be a medicine that you contribute, it can be a valuable pointing out that the emperor has no clothes.

Or at least, it can be an authentic statement. And being authentic means that people who aren’t a good match to you will drift away, and people who are a good match to you will be attracted to your light, and both of those things are beneficial.

I hope this was helpful. I love you very much.

Your star brother,
Hakann

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