The Collective Of Guides: Dealing with Emotional or Physical Separation

the collective eraoflightdotcomRelated to the issue of a partner being on a different path than yours is the feeling of isolation when a loved one leaves.

They may be a friend, partner, sibling, parent, child. They may leave the Earth, pull away from you emotionally or simply be someone you feel you can’t understand or relate to anymore.

A riff is created between you, whether you prefer that space to be there or not:

“My partner is the exact opposite of what I want in my life. Twenty years ago I was an entirely different person, but he has remained essentially the same. I love him dearly and prefer my life with him over living alone, but I keep wanting to change him. I’ve accepted that that usually ends in frustration. Yet I am afraid to be abjectly alone.”

The fear of being alone is a powerful one. It is said often that humans are social animals. That each person needs others to lean on, talk to, listen to, hold, feel accepted by.

We would say that though this is indeed the way human beings are made, most people forget to count themselves as someone who is in their life. That may sound contradictory, because many would say, “But that’s not a relationship. That’s just being alone.”

Yet we would say, all roads lead out from where you are. If you can’t be comfortable and at Peace with your own company, you will never feel completely at home with someone else’s.

That ongoing sense of discomfort you feel with another person is an indication of something you have not yet fully heard, felt, or realized within yourself.

Some aspect of the child self that has never received the Love and support he or she needed. Some unhealed trauma from this or another life.

There is some area of growth and learning you came in to discover, that is calling to you now—knocking on the door and demanding you hear it and answer, finally.

Sometimes it is enough to simply write out, “This situation where I’m experiencing ___________ [describe situation] is upsetting and annoys me now end, because . . .” and then fill in the blank. List 10 or more things that it means. Don’t think. Just write.

If you switch the pen to the other hand and then write, you will bring up things hidden in the subconscious that have been trying to reveal themselves to you. You may hear from a past life self, a child self, an ancestor, an entity—just let the story come forward on its own.T

They are never what they appear to be, these situations that trouble you. Remember that your higher self is always asking you to pay attention to what is really going on in your life, though that can feel uncomfortable:

“I keep creating the other person speaking down to me, no matter who I end up with. Why do I want to be spoken down to?”

“It doesn’t take much for my husband to get angry, so he yells a lot. He is unable to have rational, adult discussions without anger and resorting to yelling, name calling, or trying to hurt me verbally.”

These are exactly the sorts of situation that will cry out for attention. In the case of the second story, this woman’s life is literally yelling at her to get her attention.

Certainly no one should put up with name calling, insults, or yelling in their environment, particularly their home environment. A home is meant to be a place of calm supportiveness, not a combat zone, or a basically unsafe or insulting place to be.

This dear one is putting up with unacceptable behavior because at some point she learned that this is normal. Either in this or another life, she learned that men abuse women, and that that is normal and expected, and should be tolerated.

Her higher self is telling us that, similar to the person in the first comment, she lacks the sense of self required to let others know when they are not respecting her boundaries, and that that will not be tolerated.

Neither person is making clear where their boundaries are, and that those must be respected.

The base problem is not the husband’s lack of respect. Such people exist, and are met from time to time by nearly everyone. At base, this dear one lacks respect for herself. She is unaware that she has a voice, and that it is to be used, not squelched or silenced.B

Time on their own, we believe, would not leave them miserably alone, so much as at Peace. The lack so many fear, if they leave a partner who is no longer right for them, is not the lack of another person in the home.

It is the lack of their own presence, the realization that they have not fully lived inside their body for most of their life.

That is the loneliness they fear—not being present for themselves or the world. Not in voice, in heart-mind, or in body.

This is why it doesn’t fully register with so many people that they are being treated badly.

If they were fully present and aware, they would not tolerate it.

This is why it is necessary for everyone to look fully at their situation. To do energy clearings to release old trauma, and perhaps speak with a counselor or therapist to allow the child self to tell their story and be heard.

It is vital to hear that inner child self. Until then, it’s easy to continue thinking it would be far more miserable to be on their own than to live in an abusive setting.

We would say also, that the husband is also badly in need of counseling and energy work.

And that the forces driving him to rage and blame do so all the more easily because they see the fear and silent agreement of those he is yelling at.

We encourage all persons in situations such as these to take an active role in protecting the inner self, including the child self, who never received the Love, support, and protection all children need.

We encourage all to be the adult who looks after your child self. Do not abandon that little one.

They need you to speak up and act on their behalf.

Get the help and support you need to move out of an abusive job, relationship, or living situation, and to move out of the energy patterns and soul contracts that place you in these situations, over and over again, in every Earth life . . .

An excerpt from the Collective’s new eBook, Positive Connections: The Collective Speak on Creating Relationships That Honor You

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