This is Tunia speaking. I love you so very much.
Today I would like to talk about my favorite subject: sex.
A lot of people on Earth have the opinion that lots of casual sex is bad for people. But on the other hand, why would your creator have instilled in you the desire to have casual sex, if this was bad for you? Also, we Pleiadians are not damaged by it.
That said, Earthlings do have a point that casual sex can be bad for you, if you do it carelessly. Therefore today I would like to talk about how to have it without getting damaged by it. This message applies to both men and women.
So, what are the primary ways in which you can get hurt when engaging in casual sex? Well, one of them is being assaulted. You are already aware of this risk and I do not really have anything to add to how you can avoid this, other than “listen to your intuition.”
The other big risk is that you have sex with someone whom you want to be with, more than they want to be with you.
For example, if you think they are the hottest person you’ve ever seen, while they think you’re average and they just want to get laid, then I would not sleep with them.
Or if you want a serious relationship and they want to have sex once and then never see you again, then I would not have sleep with them.
So I would recommend checking in with yourself before you have sex with someone. If you sleep with this person once and then never see them again, will that be okay for you? If not, are you looking to become friends-with-benefits with this person? Or do you want a full romantic relationship with them? Something else?
Once you know this, I would recommend making sure that the other person is on the same page. If you both just want to have sex once and are both okay with potentially never seeing the other person again afterwards, then great. I hope you two will have fun. Or if you both are genuinely open to the possibility of becoming friends-with-benefits or starting a relationship in the future, then great. But if your desires are incompatible, I recommend simply not sleeping with that person.
If the other person is unwilling to have such a conversation, then I recommend only having sex with them if you’re okay with never seeing them again afterwards. Because that is what this may lead to. But if you’re fine with just sex, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
If your intuition or gut tells you that the other person is lying, then well, listen to your gut or your intuition.
It’s good to be honest with yourself here, even if the other person is really hot. If the other person clearly just wants sex, and there’s a part of you that is not okay with that, then I would recommend honoring that part of yourself and not sleeping with them. It’s good to not bulldoze parts of yourself, both in this situation and in other situations.
It sometimes happens that Patricia knows John just wants sex. However, she really likes John. So Patricia sleeps with him in the hopes that he’ll fall in love with her. I recommend against doing this, because the most likely outcome is that John won’t fall in love and Patricia will get hurt here. Just because John wants to sleep with Patricia, doesn’t necessarily mean that John wants to commit to her.
This is also sort of manipulative. Maybe John has a good reason for not wanting to be in a relationship right now, such as unresolved issues that he wants to work on first. In this case it may not be good for him to be in a relationship, even if Patricia could get John to fall in love with her.
I would like to say: have some self-respect and know just how precious your body and your love and your sexuality are. They are sacred.
This doesn’t mean that casual sex is bad. But it does mean that if you think someone is hot and you want a relationship or friends-with-benefits contact with them, while they just want to use you for sex once and then never see you again, then I would invite you to realize just how sacred your body and your sexuality are.
Or if you think they are the hottest person ever, while they think you’re average and just want to get off, then I would invite you to realize just how sacred your body and your sexuality are. Do you really want to do this?
You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them, on whatever level that is. If you both just want to have an okay person to have a one-night stand with, great. Have fun. If you both think the other person is super hot and you can’t keep your hands off them, but you’re both not ready for a relationship, great. Have fun. So long as you both want to be with the other person as much as they want to be with you.
So yes, if you think they are the most attractive person ever, while they think you’re average and just want to get laid, then I recommend not having sex.
I know it’s hard to say “no” to sleeping with someone who is really hot. However saying “yes” here can lead to you feeling used afterwards, or becoming bitter, or it can lead to you developing unrealistic expectations about how hot your future partner “should” be.
Saying “yes” here may also not be good for the other person. If say Tom has a lot of sex with women who consider Tom to be amazing, while Tom only considers those women to be average, then typically that is not great for Tom. He might start behaving in a narcissistic-like way. He might become shallow. Or he might become dependent on the easy validation and easy positive attention and develop a sex addiction. Or he might feel like people only want him for his body.
Yes, in practice this can mean not having a one-night-stand with a really attractive person and finding a somewhat less attractive person to have sex with instead, if that’s what it takes to find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. On whatever level that is.
So, that’s my primary advice: only have sex if you want to be with them as much as they want to be with you.
Now on to some smaller points. As most of you already know: after sex it’s good to engage in some cuddling and possibly conversation afterwards, even if it was just a casual encounter.
Once you’re alone again, it can be good to think or say the following: “I ask wise and benevolent beings, forces and aspects of existence to help with the following. I release attachments and energetic cords and energies and anything else that no longer serves me, in accordance with the highest divine blueprint. Thank you. Now now now.”
And as always, if you have pain or anger or trauma surrounding sex, it can be good to address that. My video “Tunia: How to Heal” may help there.
I hope that these tips will help you to not get hurt when enjoying casual sex.
Finally, it’s of course good to follow your intuition. For example, if you don’t want to have casual sex or think you won’t be able to have casual sex without getting hurt, then don’t. If you desire to wait until you meet the right person, that’s completely valid too.
If you have any other tips, feel free to write them in the comments, so that other people might benefit from it.
I love you very much and I look forward to the day when I will be able to physically meet you all.
For Era of Light
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