November 2022; Emotional Independence

Hi My Friend,

Thank you for allowing me to connect with you in this way. We have so much to catch up on, so let’s get right to it.

Have your emotions felt like they’ve been all over the place, especially recently? If so, know that you are not alone!

There has been so much celestial activity taking place, and it’s bringing up a lot of opportunities for us to heal, and to move beyond the beliefs and habits that are still preventing us from being our most empowered, free, and authentic self.

Embracing Freedom

In November, we’ll see the deeply rooted survival patterns we have been identifying with for so long coming to the surface to be addressed and resolved.

This will allow us to get clear on whether we want to continue repeating survival patterns, or whether we are ready to free ourselves from the limitations of the past. As we do so, we will be embracing the freedom available to us in the present, by resolving the unprocessed fears we have been allowing to still have power over us.

One of the most effective ways we can begin to move into complete freedom, is to question all of the fear- and lack-based thoughts our mind has about itself, others, and life in general.

Let’s look at a few thoughts that the mind can come with at times: 

“I feel like I’m a total loss with money. I never seem to have enough.”

You may have had a similar thought at some point in your life—many people have.

If and when you do have a thought like this, ask your mind the following:

“Is this absolutely a 100 percent Universal truth, that I never have enough money, or that I never manage money in positive ways? Even if that were completely true, would I want things to stay that way?”

Answer with a simple Yes or No.

If you answered Yes to any of these questions, you might want to think about the following:

Is it possible that you observed poverty consciousness in your family while you were growing up, and unconsciously decided that feeling helpless about finances was how a grown-up operates in the world?

It’s possible that even if you did inherit a poverty consciousness, you are still able to experience abundance at times. You may also still have a strong inner drive to become prosperous in life.

And is there even the tiniest chance that your feeling “lost” where money is concerned is just something your mind created, to keep you dealing with finances the way your parents did?

In doing so, you could then safely stay a part of the family—doing and believing what they did and believed, as every child desires to do, so they will feel loved and accepted.

If you answered Yes to that, this could be a moment of deep realization for you.

Because once we realize that every experience in our lives is a result of our choosing that experience on some level, whether it was a conscious choice or not, we no longer need to hold victim/survival patterns as our truth.

As we realize that, we see that it has never been about how hopeless we are at handling money. Rather, it was about us needing to create strong links to family, so we wouldn’t grow up feeling alone in the world.

Once we realize that, we can then forgive ourselves for what we think are our shortcomings.

We can then begin to take our power back, and become the conscious Creator of our life again.

Let’s look at another thought that may be deeply ingrained in our consciousness:

“I would love to find a new life partner—someone I really resonate with, who offers me solid friendship, love, and support. But I just don’t think he/she is out there. So I’ve stopped looking.”

If you’ve ever had a thought like this, ask yourself:

“Do I know this to be an absolute truth? Is it true that if someone doesn’t have the right partner now, they never will?

“Or is it possible that there are people who have met a wonderful partner at different times in their life, sometimes without even expecting it?”

See what comes up for you. That first thought might have come from what you’ve seen in the movies—that only young people with a certain kind of good looks or higher income levels find love. Or it might be a belief based on your or others’ past experiences, even though our past does not define our future.

Or it might be that in your family or community, there’s a belief that “if someone doesn’t settle down by the age of 30, they never will.”

Perhaps all of this has led you to believe that a loving partnership has eluded you, and that you might as well give up at this point.

Yet every area of our life responds powerfully to how we feel about it—what we believe to be true or possible. 

Your chance of meeting someone who is right for you has more to do with your holding open the possibility of meeting someone wonderful—and knowing that you have plenty to offer a new partner.

That is far more powerful than what you’ve been outwardly taught about relationships.

When we look at any good thing in life with low expectations and disbelief, believing the worst of it instead of the best, we separate ourselves from it.

When we look at the belief that says, “I would love to find a new life partner—someone I really resonate with. But I just don’t think they’re out there, so I’ve stopped looking,” we can clearly see that that is a judgment based on fear and scarcity thinking.

As a result of this judgment and self-protectiveness, we have not only blocked ourselves from allowing new opportunities to meet someone new.

We have also dishonored the whole energy of love and what it can be in our lives, on a romantic level and otherwise.

You can see that when we begin to question our thoughts, we create an opening in our awareness through which we can expand into higher states of consciousness, and ultimately, into complete freedom to be our higher selves.

You may be feeling some resistance toward what you’ve just read, or experiencing some guilt or sadness about judgments and beliefs you’ve held in the past. Know that those beliefs were formed during a time when we were all simply doing the best we could with what we knew at the time.

In the past, our mind simply chose to operate in survival mode, which is another way of saying that it decided to make protecting itself its ultimate priority.

But what if it no longer needs to use patterns of separation and fear to protect itself?

What if the mind can finally remember that our Spirit has kept us safe all along, even when we thought otherwise?

Doesn’t that free up space for us to try new things that will help us expand into greater states of aliveness, awareness, and being?

The mind has become very comfortable in identifying with survival patterns, so that when expansion occurs in our personal and global consciousness, the mind experiences a lot of discomfort.

Our only job when that happens, is to be a compassionate presence for the mind as it adjusts and shifts out of the old patterns. This requires that we simply observe the mind’s resistance, without trying to fix, change, or save it.

Just observe and send it love, and the mind will no longer feel like it needs to resist the shifts that are happening.

The mind can then, in its own time, relax into our warmth and compassion, as a child feels safe in the loving arms of their parent or caregiver.

What Happens When We Are Free?

We when are free, we choose to create joy and happiness for no reason.

We transcend fear.

We enjoy a full life.

We let go of the need to blame others.

We take full responsibility for being the Creator of our own life.

We are kind, loving, and compassionate.

We express ourselves authentically and honestly.

We try new things, expanding out of our comfort zone.

We experience a strong connection to our Spirit and intuition.

We open ourselves up to receiving ALL of our blessings.

We are generous and giving.

We let go of competition and lack-driven behaviors.

We are healthy and vibrant.

This month is an excellent time for us to reconnect with and embrace freedom.

Letting Go of Struggle

There was a time when struggling served as an important part of our expansion journey, and for many, that will continue until they decide otherwise.

However, our personal and collective consciousness has expanded to where we now have other options for expansion that don’t rely on our experiencing hardship and struggle.

November will give us the opportunity to continue releasing the subconscious beliefs and habits that affirmed and attracted struggle to us.

The consciousness of humanity as One family is vibrating at a higher frequency every day, even if that’s not what is being acknowledged or talked about in the mainstream.

This means that the struggle-and-suffering archetypes that many of us once invested in no longer need to be the main coping methods we reach for.

That’s not to say that everyone will want to release the identity of being the one who struggles. Yet those who feel that they have learned the lessons from identifying with this archetype, and are ready to allow more ease, flow, and peace in their lives, will now be able do so with greater ease.

For some, letting go of that struggle may leave their mind feeling a loss of their identity, because it has been operating on that level for so long. Know that this is absolutely OK.

It’s important to give the mind time to grieve. Be kind and gentle with yourself during the grieving process.

Then, as things start to feel lighter, have a gentle dialogue with the mind (the inner child), reminding them that they have not lost anything by releasing the need to struggle, but rather are making space to receive and gain many new blessings.

If you are someone who finds themselves still struggling and experiencing much difficulty in life, it may be that at some point, you unconsciously made a vow or an oath to only grow through struggle and hardship.

This could have occurred for many reasons, including family or cultural traditions, religious doctrine, or just how you related to the world around you.

If you do feel you’ve taken on some of those vows, I invite you to try the following:

  1. Affirm to the Universe that you are open and available to learning the lessons of struggle, without having to struggle anymore, and
  2. Affirm that all conscious and subconscious vows are now resolved, ended, and released once and for all, across all timelines.

When we mindfully set intentions such as these every now and then, we become a proactive part of healing our old patterns, and the attachments we have to struggle.

Emotional Independence

An important aspect of transcending struggle is to release patterns of being co-dependent in our relationships.

There’s a push-and-pull that occurs when people start to become co-dependent with one another. A big part of our sense of self can get lost.

When we take full responsibility for our own happiness, and no longer seek to find it in others, we become emotionally independent.

Now, the mind may come up with every excuse, saying things like, “Well, you don’t understand my situation. I have to live with my parents because I’m not making any money.”

Or “I love my partner so much and can’t live without them, but they just aren’t doing what I want them to do.”

Do any of these ideas sound familiar? Whether we have experienced those situations ourselves or we know someone who has, those beliefs are simply an easy way to not take full responsibility for our own happiness.

There’s also the idea the mind likes to come up with sometimes, that if we are emotionally independent, then we will be alone.

So the fear of being alone then begins making all the decisions in our lives . . . which results in us being miserable, and consistently expecting things outside of ourselves to make us happy.

I know this can be a bit of an uncomfortable subject to reflect on, however it’s important to shed light on it and to be honest with ourselves, so we can heal and move beyond it.

To begin building emotional independence, it’s imperative for us to remember to go within to find our core emotional strength, instead of looking for it outside of ourselves.

Here are some simple yet effective ways we can build healthy emotional independence:

  1. Choosing to make ourselves a priority through consistent acts of self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance2. Releasing the need to always be right, and to have to prove ourselves

    3. Letting go of the pressure we place on ourselves to be perfect

    4. Integrating creative expression, and fun and play, into every single day

    5. Setting and achieving goals

    6. Sharing love and compassion with others, without buying into illusions of fear and exchanging lack-based stories

    7. Consistently choosing to look and feel your best, for YOU. We can achieve this through nourishing our bodies with super-healing foods, exercise/moving the body, and taking care of our physical aesthetics, so that we reflect to the outside world the beauty we have always carried on the inside.

    8. Expressing gratitude to the Universe every day

    9. Changing up our daily routines every few days, to keep things fresh

If we remain consistent with these 9 ingredients, within 28 days, the seeds to becoming emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially independent will be fully planted.

**By Emmanuel Dagher