Jesus and Buddha Walk Into a Bar…

…because helping humanity ascend is so damn hard even the masters need to pour themselves some damn wine from time to time. I mean waterSame thing. Nevermind.


Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another edition of Don Spectacularis (miserably failing to) entertain you with (not so) advanced spiritual knowledge. And thank you for missing me. I missed you too. I mean, what else is even there to do? See, it even rhymed.




The difference between master and monster.



You see, the other day, I was trying to analyze as to just WHAT it is that makes a master or a messenger of the light truly RESONATE with me.


How is it that I intuitively know that someone is of the highest light, or well…simply isn’t?


Is it their energy? Sure.


Is it their incredible wisdom? Most certainly.


Is it the fact that their messages give me a happy feeling in my very soul? Absolutely.


And yet, one thing I’ve observed that sets these beings apart is that they absolutely refuse to take life seriously. They’re just so cheerful come rain or pain, it’s almost hilarious. Ridiculous, even. Like, are these guys simply chugging morphine under the guise of extra herbal, super organic, and authentic Zen Master certified tea?



Sure, that’s easy for them, you’d say. It’s not like they are suffering from planet earth’s dark and dense atrocities or anything, you’d add.


Well actually, many of them have. One dude even ticked the “get nailed to a cross” box off their bucket list.


AND there have been countless other masters – known and unknown – who have had to deal with other (extreme) hardships and (cruel) punishments. Many of the living masters have had some pretty messed up lives themselves.


And yet, they SMILE.


They know, that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, they’re bloody eternal.


They know, that irrespective of how much they get tossed and turned and put into the fryer from morning to evening, that someday, the cracked egg that is their life will one day become a delicious omelette for the entire omniverse to enjoy. (I swear this one’s original!)



BUT above all, they know, that they are GOD, and forever shall such be.


Because, and guess what yolks, I mean folks: a deep fried God is STILL GOD.


Just a little something for ya’ll to chew on.



So anyways, like I was saying, I just realized that this was an UNCHANGABLY common thread binding EVERY SINGLE messenger of light that I’d EVER resonated with. They all just REFUSE to take life seriously.


I never see them get offended by words.


I never see their expression turn sour when someone asks them a silly question.


I never see them indicate that some query or misunderstanding or comment is way too “beneath them”.


But if I do, then I definitely know and recognize deep down that their teachings are most definitely NOT for me.



For me, the best masters and messengers are those who look like they’re on chill pills 24×7.


As an example, take the religious figure known as the Dalai Lama. Yeah, yeah, I know, a controversial figure for some. But look, I don’t really know the guy personally, so I’m not going to comment on whether he is good or bad or whatever. I’m not him, so I cannot vouch for his authenticity and goodness (or the lack of it) in any case.


But what I WILL INDEED comment on – simply for the sake of providing this most real life example – is how very happy and childlike and open he always appears to be. “Sure”, I hear some of you say, “I’d be happy all day too if I were a religious leader and I had a hundred followers running around me all day, catering to every last need of mine 24×7.” Fair enough. And I wholly agree. Except, well, have you even seen some of the many numerous spiritual and religious leaders out there?


Some of them look like they had pure salt for breakfast.



Again, not commenting upon their authenticity or anything here. But for goodness sake you guys, smile please! It costs you nothing (well, at least until Elon Musk buys it anyways).


Also, to be very, VERY clear, I’m just giving some silly little examples off of the top of my head here to simply illustrate my point, okay? NOT to be taken as actual comments on anyone’s legitimacy or authenticity or anything! Please don’t crucify me; Jesus said his cross is already taken (so I’ll be left HANGING, gettit???)



And now, I have a fun little assignment for all of you to do. I mean, it should at least keep you all occupied until we all wait and wait and wait (im)patiently for the predicted Solar Flashes / Events / UFO Landings / Q Sightings / Fair Elections / The Storm / Your Favourite Sports Team actually winning something for a change / Food that looks as good as its shown in the advertisements.


And your assignment is as follows:




About your own life. (For starters).



Don’t worry. You don’t have to be super funny like a Dave Chappelle or anything. You just have to find a wee little bit of humour in your life. That is all. A little bit of fun in what your soul chose as its challenges for this life!


(Some dark humour even, if you will.)


Because sometimes, the very best thing that you can do is to point a finger at your own life and laugh. Take some of that seriousness off. Life’s hard on all of us anyways. And ESPECIALLY so if you’re a LIGHTWORKER and on EARTH at this time!



You and me and we, we all share the same rocky boat.


So let’s at least find some FUN in it!


Some joy.


Some silliness.


A stupid joke or two even!


(If nothing else, at least it will give you a temporary uptick in vibration!)


Besides, who even knows if there’s a crowd tickling comedian hidden within you? Why wait for the reval (or your UFO Merchandise startup) to take off when you can kickstart your brand new career as a comedian today anyways? (Not to mention the fact that you’ll make many folks laugh and help uplift the planetary vibration too, on the side!)


(P.S. After you succeed, don’t’ forget to mail me some o’ that juicy royalty!)



Anyways, as always, I’ll go first (as a demonstration). Because, you see, the last few months have been somewhat hard on me. Feeling depressed from morning to evening (and also from evening-to-morning, thank you very much!) Feeling lost and purposeless and depressed. Wanting it all to end. You know. Every lightworker’s story and all.


So I used to attempt keeping my vibration high by trying to come up with jokes and witty one-liners about it. It was the best that I could do (at the time), anyways. So, and without any further ado, here are a few examples of those very crackers below! (Not saying they’re super funny or witty or anything, but hey, at least they worked for me!) Enjoy! 😉



1. My life sucks so MUCH, it’s like I’m a living-breathing vacuum cleaner advertisement.


2. I’m feeling so down today Satan will probably charge me for living rent-free in his basement.


3. My depression is so bad today it’s probably going to trigger a cyclone (super scientific and cool weather joke).


4. Everything feels so dark today the UN should probably declare this as an Earth Hour.


5. If I died today, I hope my grave stone reads: “Here lies Don Spectacularis. While the Earth was busy crying for ascension, this asshole right here was dying of laughter.”


(P.S. Please don’t mind me highlighting the gist of some of these jokes. It’s to help assist our non-natively-English-speaking friends to understand better. Cheers!).



Anyways, these were just some of the jokes that I came up with. (Obviously I’m not going to post the remaining 99% of the ones that were absolutely shit lol).



My point being, this is a time for mastery. The one thing that we all came here to specifically learn and master.


And mastery is learned only and ONLY at the darkest hour.


Many of you reading this message are going through the said darkest hour as it is.


So am I.






We all SIGNED UP to do this, after all.


Because, as it turns out, it is only the master who can find joy when all else only see misery.


It is the master who can celebrate when only darkness and doom penetrates.


It is the master who brings through the jokes while the rest of mankind grasps for hope.


NOT because the master lacks compassion. The very opposite is true, in fact.


For the cracked joke helps crack smiles, and cracking through the darkness, are rays of pure and pristine light.


A crack in stone, through which rises the wildest of wildflowers.


Radiating bliss. Joy. Ecstasy.




Or you wouldn’t even be here, at this time.


So you already know how to lighten up. To find that joy. To see the silliness of it all when push comes to show. To see the illusion and the delusion for what it is. To BE the bouncy and joyful little ray of light.


To be the laughing Buddha of the new world who finds great joy and mirth in grossly inappropriate jokes, dark humour and dank memes even.


And just in case you thought the Buddhas and Jesuses of this world were all “saintly” and “perfect” (as per “human standards” of what we consider to be all “perfect” and “saintly”), you, my friend, have not heard some of some of the absolutely fucked-up jokes and crass language that many great masters used to openly engage in. (Though you’ll most definitely find some of these amazing stories and anecdotes if you do just a wee little bit of research, I promise you that much).



My people, it’s time to celebrate the absolute little fucked-up-ness of life. Its ups and its downs, its tragedies and its comedies. So please feel free to go have a good laugh. At your expense. Or your neighbour’s. (It’s not like they’ll hear your thoughts or anything lol.) Do whatever silly little (harmless) things it takes to keep your vibration high (so long as they don’t trouble anyone else in any way, shape or form, that is) and go find yourself some goddamned laughter!


(A confession: I absolutely love our incredible Pleiadian friend and guide Tunia – so no offence to her – but someone called her “Tuna” in the comments section the other day and I almost fell out of my chair laughing.) (Yes, it’s been a dark and depressing time for me as of late and I’ll take whatever it is that I can use to sail through, sue me!)



Because if you can find the said laughter and joy in the most challenging of times on planet earth; then you, my friend, have earned your incredible little MASTER’S degree.


And NOW is by FAR the very BEST TIME to earn it, is it not?



To conclude, here’s revisiting a few fun little jokes for you all to read and enjoy! 😉


Don’t forget to comment if reading this brought a smile to your face! 🙂


Stay ever smiling,

– The Don Spectacularis (Occasional) Laughter Club


P.S. PLEASE DON’T FORGET to SHARE THE ARTICLE everywhere that you possibly so can, so that the light of joy, humour, happiness and mastery uplifts many, MANY souls all over the world! Cheers! 😀

23 Replies to “Jesus and Buddha Walk Into a Bar…”

  1. Denise G

    I couldn’t agree MORE!!!😂
    It seems to me that finding the Joy in Life is part of that Evolution we are All seeking, at least from my perspective anyway!
    My I Am has a WICKED sense of humor, check out my “Death Clock” trigger she set up for my Awakening, I saw Her Genius exactly 2 years ago TODAY! Weird that it would be THAT story I put on Sanaandas story today of All days!
    I just love life’s little synchronicities!😂🤣😂
    Love and Light to All One of Us!!!
    Denise G

  2. Raksha

    Well, since I got in the mood, I have a joke I made about the Cabal to share. Warning : it is both dark and vulgar (combo). So if Kejraj or the team decide to censor it, no problem, I understand. I don’t mean to cause trouble. Some things are so outrageous… this is my own way to deal with it.
    Do you know the difference between a dead toddler and a boulder ……?
    Well, you can’t fuck a boulder…..
    Please, don’t throw boulders at me (double-combo).
    P.S : I posted a reply to Don’s reply, it dosen’t appear. Don’t know if it takes time or if I just messed up somehow.

    1. Don Spectacularis

      If KejRaj allows a joke this dark, I’ll eat my hat.

      Just kidding, I don’t own a hat. (Loved your joke, by the way. Might was well say it out loud at this point because all of my usual haters will anyways show up at some point on here to hate on me as always. Might as well bless them with some legit ammo at this point!) 😀

  3. jim

    Great effort, Don S! Humour is so much needed in this world. In my conversations, live and online, I find opportunities to slip in witticisms and asides, just off the top of the head, so to speak. I think these give people a ‘moment’ and I often get LOL’s back when online. In Canada we have an organization that promotes the use of humour in writing. Personally I think they are much too serious in their administration, although the annual award events are a blast! with the cream of the crop in attendance. Several years ago I gave a workshop on humour at an international conference. I was embarrased that I attracted the bulk of the attendees, voiding some of the other workshops. At one point i invited jokes from people from different countries. The best was from a man from Lebanon .. just sayin’.

    1. Don Spectacularis

      Organization made for promoting humour > everyone in the administration is ultra serious.

      Humanity is a goddamn MAGNET for IRON-Y.

  4. hrhdawnra

    Don Spectacularis, I am new to your posts, and I must say this is the best post I have read on this site. Thank you and keep them coming !!!

    1. Don Spectacularis

      Thank you SO MUCH for your most kind words! ❤️ Also, do search for the words “spectacularis” AND “aseim” separately within the search bar (without the quotes) and you’re in for such a treat! 😉 [aseim is the name that I used to write with previously]

  5. Ken

    Great job Don. Ascension is literally about being lighter, less heavy, less dense in your thoughts and deeds. Jesus famously said we should be like children. We need to rediscover our childlike glee and joy about life which we tend to loose as we age and enter the very serious adult world

  6. Raksha

    Your best post so far 🙂
    I often says, Humour is all I have left in my shitty life. I’m glad I have it.

    1. Don Spectacularis

      Haha! I’ve SO missed your comments! And speaking of shitty life, I loved it when Ashian bluntly addressed it in his today’s message saying, “What now? ENDURE.”
      And I was like, damn, did I time my article well or what 😂😂😂

      1. Raksha

        Oh, that Ashian message was great. I read it 2 times. Yeah, I smiled at the “endure”. I love Tunia’s messages also (also noticed the “tuna”), I translated a few in french for a friend.
        I would have liked to join you and share a bit of my humour here, but being no native, it is difficult to crack a joke in english. Humour is always the last-level difficulty in a foreign tongue. Also, I really enjoy dark humour and vulgar/sexual jokes/puns (french is very easy for that), but I would not want to offend some people here, so I keep them for my close circle.
        Always a pleasure to read you.

    1. Don 'Sherlock' Spectacularis

      Hmm…”Gray Day” (puts on Sherlock Holmes hat). Sounds like something someone from the UK or the Netherlands would say. But then again, you spelled it “gray” instead of “grey”, so you could also be from the US.
      You know what, I’ll just deactivate my Sherlock Holmes mode instead and sleep in peace.

  7. Daisy Claridge

    Thank you so much for a delightfully refreshing (and even funny in parts) interlude in the otherwise merry-go-round days, weeks, months, years. So true, laughter is always the best medicine! Lots of love and laughter to you xxx

    1. Don Spectacularis

      They sent me on planet earth to crack the mystery of mastery but all I could crack was a fucking joke.

      But you know what, I’ll take it. (And your delightful compliments too).

      Cheers! 😉

  8. Kat

    Don Spectacularis, you are the Master Light Worker, I love your articles, they just pinpoint this journey so fu….cking Beautifully (Note, I use F- word very sparingly, just to make a point). You are blessed, Brother.🙏❣

    1. Don Spectacularis

      See? Made you use the F-word! 😀

      Thank you so much for your love and compliments, may you come across many beautiful flowers, luscious red cherries and cute kittens today. Much, much love! ❤️