It has been some 21 years that I walked along the spiritual path leading up to my experience of Samadhi, and here I am again, once more walking the path. I see them – familiar milestones and markers along the way. I passed them once before, and as I move forward now, it is with the hope that Samadhi, maybe even collective Ascension is just around the corner.
What is Samadhi? It is a Sanskrit word that carries various meanings. One translation may be, ‘coming together as One.’ Samadhi marks the eighth and final stage of Yoga, according to Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras. There are various levels of Samadhi, with Savikalpa and Nirvikalpa being the temporary states of enlightenment that I experienced, and Sahaja being permanent. Ascension I have come to understand, may be equated to Sahaja Samadhi.
In this blog I reflect upon my spiritual journey then and now. There are perhaps as many paths to the Divine as there are aspirants, yet there are considerable degrees of overlap, and many shared themes along the way. I myself enjoy reading the accounts of others, often finding comfort in the overlap and shared experiences; often finding reassurance that I am part of a greater whole; often finding my “tribe and vibe,” if you will. It is in this vein that I share this blog, in the hope that it may do the same for you.
The Divine Vision
When did I arrive on the path to Samadhi this time around? I am not exactly sure, but the first marker I recognised was the loving glance of Sri Krishna as He appeared to me momentarily in a vision. This occurred in December of 2022 when I returned from service to the collective in Turkey. This was in itself an important marker for me, as I will discuss later.
I remember being blessed with the vision of Sri Krishna shortly before my immersion into the bliss of Samadhi at the turn of the millennium. In both instances my experience of the event was the same.
The infinitely loving glance of the Lord was as fiery arrows that seared into my soul, scorching all attachment to everything I had known prior. All desire was burnt save for that of union with Him. Such Love instantly awakened in my Heart, leaping from my chest with such force as if to break free from the confines of the body, desperately seeking union with the Source of Love itself, but thwarted by the gates of Time. Frustrated that I was not allowed to leave this life behind to join The Beloved One, my soul seemed to sink back into the body, tears of joy and longing flowing from my eyes.
It was only a momentary vision, but one that was as transformational now as it was two decades ago. The very next day, as to if to prove the veracity of the vision, a member of the our little meditation group, Sharmila, sent me an image of Sri Krishna that was almost identical to the vision He gave me, save for a few details. To say I was in awe at the synchronicity and resemblance would beggar the emotion.
The Theme of Renunciation
Now, as I write this blog, I believe the vision of the Lord catalysed a renunciation process that began in Turkey and would continue for several more months. My service in Turkey alongside Jennifer seemed to be the last of my service in terms of collective karmic clearing whereby one’s personal karma is quantum entangled with the collective karma such that clearing personal karma also contributed to clearing collective karma.
After being guided to retire from this phase of service, I believe Sri Krishna came forward in a moment of Divine Grace to burn away layers of personal karma alongside the quantum entanglement with collective karma, through the vision of His infinite Divine Love. For me, it seemed like the universe responded to my desire to retire with a resounding, “Yes.”
Renunciation seemed to have been the theme for me personally since then. In the traditional 3D model of life according to the Vedic teachings, renunciation is the fourth and final stage of life whereby one renounces all material possessions and joins a monastery, or becomes a [wandering] Sadhu. However, in a 5D model, I surmise that renunciation may not be of material things but spiritual things.
Archangel Michael in his July 2022 message as transmitted through Ronna Vezane confirms that renunciation is a major theme in the ascension process:
“A period of great renunciation prefaces the complete transition out of the Fourth Human Kingdom: the seven sub-levels of the Fourth Dimension… (Each person’s renunciation process varies depending on the overlay of negative vibrational patterns they carry within from his or her many past life experiences).”
Since the most recent vision of Sri Krishna in December 2022, I have been steadily renouncing various aspects and layers of my life, terminating most recently with shattering the ego-persona I had built post-samadhi. At the peak of my immersion into Samadhi, around 2003, I was asked by a voice within whether I was ready to, “go to the next level.”
Without thinking I responded that I wanted to serve inside the illusion (Maya) and awaken the collective from within. In hindsight I believe that was an invitation to personal ascension – Sahaja Samadhi. However, that wish was granted and the Great Illusion (Maya) once more seeped into my mind, clouding the vision of pure Love that permeated and held all of creation with a sublime Grace that was beyond comprehension.
Over the intervening 21 years or so, I gradually developed a sub-personality that was dedicated to awakening people. Without realising it, the illusion of being personally responsible for collective ascension overcame me. It was a burden I did not know I was shouldering for years until recently.
The revelation and subsequent renunciation came when Jennifer gently pointed out that she perceived two parallel personalities in me – one that carried compassion born of samadhi, and another that was led by ego. (1) This was a great gift, though the fall of the ego was hard. Very hard.
As I went through the difficult healing and integration process over the past few months, I came to realise that I was renouncing not service itself, but the pride I took in being able to serve. I became aware of how much attachment I held to my spiritual gifts and achievements. This I was guided to renounce.
“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.” Bhagavad Gita 2:47