Most spiritual forums and websites out there have just gotten way too damn serious lately, no? And yet, the real secret to enlightenment lies NOT in being all serious and sullen and morose 24x7x366; but instead, in finding fun, where there ain’t even none! So allow me to pull out some puns (instead of guns), and once again remind one and all of one of the best kept secrets of the ancients. That one big secret sauce that separates the wheat from the chaff, the wise from the wicked, the enlightened from the entitled, the sage from the stooge, and the master from the b@$tard. (I had to make it all rhyme somehow, okay?)
It’s the secret sauce to life’s joys that doesn’t necessarily come prepackaged inside a fancy-ass Buddha-shaped bottle. The secret sauce that is popularly known as having a sense of humour. Also best known as man’s seventh sense, if you will.
The very (innate) ability to laugh off things, even in the very hardest and darkest (and most challenging of) times.
Also known as the way of the MASTERS.
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So anyways, that intro doesn’t seem to have worked all too well in here. So then, here’s some fun new jokes to get things rolling (on the floor laughing) instead!
Enjoy! 😉
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Jesus H. Christ walks into a bar.
“For the LAST TIME sir,” fumes the raging bartender, “we DO NOT serve WATER in here!!!”
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Three Arcturians walk into a bar.
The bartender takes one quick look at them all, and then asks…
“‘Sup fellas? Why the long face?”
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Three Sirians walk into that exact same bar shortly thereafter.
This time round however, the bartender doesn’t say even as much as a single word to them.
Rather confused at this (rather discriminatory) treatment, the Sirians ask,”Greatly sorry to bother you, sir, but, where’s the punch-line?“
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Donald John Trump walks into a bar (filled to the brim with US politicos).
He takes one look around the place, and cries out loud…
“God. Why is it always me having to raise the bar with these idiots?”
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DJT walks into a pole.
Pulling himself right back up, he thunders, “SEE? I TOLD YA’LL these damn POLES were RIGGED!”
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Joseph Robinette Biden Junior walks into a pole.
(This is not a joke. Dementia is nothing to laugh about.)
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Elon Musk walks into a poll.
YES: 69%
NO: 42.0%
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Q walks into a /pol/
Every last MSM news outlet on Planet Earth has something nasty to say about it in less than 17 minutes.
(Where We Go Pun, We Go Lol.)
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P.S. A whole bus full of dream interpreters fell into a river the other day…
…I’d always known symbolism will be their downfall.
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– Don Spectacularis (Originals!)
Help. Why does the bartender say no water to Jesus?
Free Unlimited Wine Hack (Bartenders Hate It!)
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Basically, there’s a miracle story about Jesus being able to convert water into wine. A cool little skillset that Big Alcohol does not want you to have (or know about).
I 💝 Ur JOKES ❣
😀 Cheers Simone! 🙂 🙂 🥂🍻 ❤️❤️❤️!!!
Kek
Thanks for the laugh. Particularly enjoyed “Q walks into a /pol/”…
Glad to know it uplifted your spirits!!! 😀 😉
Kim: Thank you, Don, we need more humor and less shooting of the messenger. We all need to “lighten” up. It will help raise our vibrational frequency.
Thank you Kim! Took the words right out of my keyboard! 😉
Thanks for keeping things light. Husband and I laugh every day. The Goofier the better. 👏👏👏
Cheers Sandra! 🙂 🥂🍻
Do tell me how you and your husband found the above jokes! 😀 😀 😀 😉
👍🏼😁
Glad you liked it! 🙂
So it’s ok to make jokes about peoples PHYSICAL attributes? Would you make a JOKE about how a CHINESE person or an INDIAN person looks?
No YOU wouldn’t, so why make a joke about how Arcturians look? Surely that is just as RACIST as making jokes about how people look in different parts of the WORLD.
Unless you BELIEVE that Arcturians aren’t real, then it’s a FUNNY joke.
One, the many versions of “why the long face” jokes have been around for literal DECADES now; usually refers to the idea that people hit up a bar when they’re feeling sad, low, or depressed. Two, if this joke was THAT “racist” or whatever, I wouldn’t be posting it here. Three, the Arcturians (of all people) did not get to where THEY’RE AT spiritually, (and in most other ways), by getting offended over some silly dad-joke tier comedy; and fourth, this whole article has been primarily written for YOU.
Please stop taking life THIS seriously. It never hurts to laugh a little, be it at others or even at ourselves; as long as we aren’t making fun of anyone’s weakness or disability or such stuff. So basically, as long as we aren’t judging them or saying something that would TRULY hurt them, that is.
All jokes are at the expense of someone or something or the other. If we choose to get offended at every little funny thing, we’ll have to start with cancelling all comedians upon this planet. And what a boring ol’ place would THAT make the EARTH!
Cheers!
Excellent my friend. We must be tribe ’cause i can find humor in all of it, and love the notion of making light, of things.. Love to the Arcturians… horse faced bastards. Has anyone ever felt more humor than they? 😉
Horses have a long face,
Kangaroos got a pouch,
Keep my wife’s name,
Out your f***ing mouth!
(leaked lyrics from Will Smith’s all-new rap song)