And, consequently, it’s hard being around others who are still deep into their story. It’s not a judgement, just a fact.
I no longer attract drama, and seem to be met with very nice folks most of the time. But even the nice folks are a little tedious to be with. There’s not much to relate to anymore. Superficial conversation goes just so far. I get physically weary if I engage too long.
So, consequently, I hang out at home most of the time. And at Starbucks, and hope no one will invade my space.
So it gets boring and it gets lonely. Not a sad, existential loneliness any more. But just a kind of solitary-ness, if that’s a word.
I’m O.K. with it most of the time. I prefer it to being entangled with others I can no longer relate to. Make no mistake, their tendrils seek to find me, energetically, but I can no longer support their need to be fed.
I fully honor my choice to be solitary.
Most of my life I craved the need to be alone, or at least most of the time, even when I was in relationships. So it’s not that new for me to seek solitude. Sacred sovereignty.
There is talk about re-emerging into the 3 D world as we awaken, and using our new skills and abilities as we reconnect with others. But for me, I sense the opposite. I sense I will become more reclusive. It just makes sense.
I don’t think I can do this transformation while one foot is still in 3 D consciousness. I don’t know how that would work.
Again, it’s not a judgement, it’s just science. I can’t imagine being in a 3 D consciousness, like a regular job, for example, on a regular basis.
We see our non-physical friends being channeled, and they can hang around only so long here before they begin to feel sucked into the dense, gravity-laden Earth environment.
So we are not immune to that same gravity.
I once described being awakened as dying, coming back to earth, and being invisible to those around us. Oh, they may see us and sense us with their physical senses, but they don’t recognize us.
We are like ghosts, waving our hands back and forth in front of their faces, but they are not able to see us. Like in the movies, where the angel comes to earth to assist humans but the angel can do only so much, because the human has free will.
The angel is invisible except to those that have the eyes to see.
We are here, but we no longer have a dog in the race. Game over. So the question remains, now what? We are detached. Will we feel more soul passion, for lack of a better phrase, as time goes on?
Because we are definitely feeling less human passion, or, I am. I will speak for myself.
I am feeling more of a sensual bliss, more often, and it is amazing. It’s nothing like I have ever felt before. And I suspect it’s what we have to look forward to.
It’s full-bodied. It’s sensual. It engages all of our human senses, and then some. It’s being in the moment, and not caring about the past or the future one iota. In that moment I know who I am, and why I am here. I know I am being taken care of.
I could be at home, taking a walk, or sitting at the cafe. It doesn’t matter where I am in those moments.
In those moments I am experiencing my I AM completely.
I have created music, produced many songs and albums, and distributed them world-wide. I have created thousands of artworks. I have written hundreds of articles and stories.
As good as all that feels, and has felt, it still doesn’t compare to that blissed-out state. Everything else pales in comparison.
Maybe because in those moments, I am my self. I am the ultimate artist, infusing themself into their masterpiece, their human body and their human environment.
And in those moments I get to taste first hand this environment in a way that is impossible in the non-physical.
Maybe those moments are why I stay here. Why I am still here, walking this often solitary road.