As I began my next visit to the Grandmothers, I looked like the statue in the Albuquerque airport of the shaman holding on to an eagle … he took me all the way to the Grandmothers and when we glided above their circle he let me down gently and I glimpsed a look of compassion in his eyes …
I crouched before them in an almost fetal position and gasped, “Grandmothers, my spirit has been wounded, Eagle has shown me this.” I spoke the words before I thought the thought. My spirit had been wounded … The Grandmothers took a hard look at me and said, “You try to do too much. Wait. You must grow into your spirit.” “Grandmothers,” I sobbed, “I want to let you lead, not try so hard. I want to operate from spirit, outward.” Gazing at me with wise eyes they said, “You cannot fly so high any other way.”
I heard the truth in this and asked, “What is the best way to use what you have given me?” “Just sit with it in silence,” they said. “Wait. The next wave will come from within you but you must wait for it. Now is the time for building your reserves, then there will be more for you to give.
“THIS WORK SHOULD BE EFFORTLESS,” they said. “If it is not effortless, it is not us working, but your mind … By the ease of the work you will know whether it is Spirit working through you or only your mind manufacturing. The best use you can make of what we have given you is to embody our lessons. That is the highest, deepest and best use and from that will come all else. Do not seek after anything, but wait.
“Know your body,” they said, “your body is your compass. Both physical and emotional feelings are registered in the body. There is wholeness, a groundedness in this way of perceiving that is more reliable than the mind. You will FEEL the truth.
“The mind doesn’t particularly produce a feeling,” they said. “Rather it contracts with doubt and worry; it says many words and shows pictures, but there is no true feeling in it … Trust the feeling,” they said. “How do you feel? It is quite simple.”