A note was attached that stated: “This bill is one year old.”
By return mail the lawyer had his bill back.
To it was attached a card which read: “Happy Birthday.”
“Meditation – You have the right to remain silent.”
“Don’t just do something, sit there.”
“Life is hard. It’s breathe, breathe, breathe, all the time.”
What makes God laugh?
When a doctor tells his patient: “I cured you”
New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.
Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”
The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”
The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.”
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
From Google. Writers Unknown.