A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client.

A note was attached that stated: “This bill is one year old.”

By return mail the lawyer had his bill back.

To it was attached a card which read: “Happy Birthday.”

“Meditation – You have the right to remain silent.”

“Don’t just do something, sit there.”

“Life is hard. It’s breathe, breathe, breathe, all the time.”

What makes God laugh?

When a doctor tells his patient: “I cured you”

New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”

The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.”

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

From Google. Writers Unknown.