Question to an Ascended Master: How many ascended masters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: None, that’s the lightworkers’ job.

Every day, a physisist goes to an icecream parlor and buys two ice creams, one for himself, and the other one, he places in the seat next to him. After several months, the owner of the ice cream parlor asks the man why he does this. The man replied, “According to quantum mechanics, a beautiful woman will spontaneously materialize in that seat and fall in love with me.” So the parlor owner says, “Why don’t you buy an ice cream, give it to one of the ladies in here already and maybe she will fall in love with you.” The physisist replies, “What are the chances of that happening?”

A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client.
A note was attached that stated: “This bill is one year old.”
By return mail the lawyer had his bill back.
To it was attached a card which read: “Happy Birthday.”